Pump It UP!

"I can't get the thing down"
"It's stuck!"
"Ow, that hurt me!"
"Just press on it harder"
"It's not getting any bigger"
"Put it on tighter"
"It's not working..."
"Ahh, it's a little bigger"
"That'll have to work..."
"Fine! We'll just have to do it like that"
"I don't even want to do it anymore...."

And thus began the afternoon of me, Dave, our bikes and the floor pump.

As we learned in a previous post, you should pump up your tires (inner tubes actually) before every ride -even if - and especially if - you haven't ridden it in awhile. Tires lose air and need to be pumped up again with fresh air. Trust me on this - and if you don't trust me -- go ahead and google "bicycle tires air" - you'll find lots of articles that explain the science behind this phenomenon - something to do with synthetic rubber, molecules and black magic.

So after Dave went on a bike ride with half the tire pressure he should have had in his tires, we went out to buy a pump and ended up buying this Ascent Mega Force:

(It should go without saying at this point that you should just buy a floor pump when you buy your bike. After all another $30 on top of the thousands you are already spending isn't going to put you any deeper in the poor house.)

This pump didn't work right. It was really hard to get on and off the tube's valve. Well, it might have something to do with the people using it, but look - if you are new to this sport and don't know what the hell you are doing - don't make it harder on yourself by using this pump!

After the ordeal of pumping up our tires for the first time, we met our friends for a ride at a park. As we were waiting for everyone to arrive, we saw our friend Sara pull out her pump from her car- and effortlessly - EFFORTLESSLY -fill her bicycle tires with air. It was almost as if she just wiggled her nose a la Bewitched and the tires were deliciously full and ready to be ridden across the roads of Arizona.

Dave & I watched her do this with mouths' half open - spell bound by the ease at which she executed this task that had taken us well over an hour and had been accompanied by some snappish words with one another.

Dave was intrigued and asked Sara what kind of pump she had... Her back was turned toward us, but when she heard the question, she slowly turned around and gave kind of a secret, shy smile and then slowly turned the pump around to face us and slyly said "Why, it's Joe Blow."

Joe. Blow. We went out and bought the Topeak Joe Blow Sport pump immediately. And let me tell you, It works!



(Yes, I know this pump looks just like the Ascent - don't get them confused!)

One thing you should know about Joe Blow and other floor pumps of its kind is that it is constructed to be used with both Schrader and Presta valves. Most road bikes are going to require tubes that have a Presta valve. You can go ahead and google "Schrader and Presta" to get the technical differences between the two...

However, I associate the Schrader valve with my childhood bike "Big Blue" -
the silver and blue sparkly banana seat, the bright blue streamers hanging from the handle bars, the white basket with a flower on it. Yeah, there's some rust on the handlebars but - it's my bike and it gives me freedom! If my tires were ever low, I just stuck the pump on the tube's valve, gave it a couple of swift pumps and away I went, sans helmet, pedaling with sandals on, cruising around the neighborhood 'till the streetlights came on....

The Presta valve is a different story. Once you figure out how to use the damn thing and actually get air in your tires (to the correct psi of course), you get out your "bike shoes" and shove your feet in them, and then you put your helmet on your head - this is of course after you've squeezed yourself into some bike shorts and a jersey. Then once you are actually attempt to get on your bike you have to "clip in," and then you start pedaling, concentrating hard when you have to "clip out," being ever vigilant for vehicles. You make sure you have your water, gatorade and some gels....

You get the picture...the differences between Schrader and Presta go beyond the technical....

Things to remember about the Presta valve include the following --

The Presta valve has a little tiny brass top on it (I call it "the little hat"). Make sure you twist the little hat open when you are trying to put air in your tires. This will allow air to enter your tube as you are pumping. Do not just attach the pump to the inner tube valve without first twisting the little hat open - that is kind of - no really -- stupid. Of course, that's what we did the first time. But seriously! These things don't come with instructions (well, maybe they do - but we didn't read them).

[Our conversation after we attempted to put air in the tire without twisting the little hat open:

D: "There, it's done."
S: "Uh, honey, I don't think any air went in there." (while squeezing the tire, easily smooshing both sides of the tire together)]

So twist the little hat on the tube's valve open, attach the pump (if you are using Joe Blow, you will use the gray skinny side), fold the pump's lever up to lock the valve to the pump and PUMP it UP! Well, pump the tube up to the recommended psi....

So what's the recommended psi? Why, you can find that on your tire's sidewall! My tire's sidewall says "Inflate to 100 PSI/ 7 BAR - 120 PSI 8.5 BAR" - I have no idea what the Bar stuff means, but I believe the psi stuff means that I should pump my tires up to between 100 psi-120 psi max. Joe Blow even has a handy little red arrow on its pressure gauge that tells you about how much air you should be putting in your tires. Note: Check out the pump gauge when you make that first pump stroke on the pump -- it will tell you how much air you initially have in your tire.

One other thing - the tube's valve will initially have a little plastic black top (which I like to call the "Top Hat") on it.

IronShane says to get rid of the Top Hat immediately (well he didn't call it the Top Hat - I think he said something like "this is a useless piece of ...."). Apparently nothing says Newbie like a little black cap on your tube. So if you are pedaling up a hill in your large chain ring and you tip over, make every effort to make sure you are not caught with a little black cap on your tube! It could be the difference between being silently ignored as you lie on the side of the road with your bike on top of you and having empty gel packs thrown at you.

And that's it! Dave and I now happily pump up our tires before every ride with our Topeak Joe Blow Sport Floor Pump.

Now changing a flat, that is an entirely different post, or rather series of posts... Stay tuned...